Almost like life…

Allan Davies : Storyteller & digital artist/animator

In praise of artifice

Posted on November 13th, 2008

I’ve just had to add another category to this blog - ‘Art’- in order to have somewhere to lodge this.  ‘Random observation’ somehow doesn’t carry enough gravitas. I couldn’t quite bring myself to change ‘observation’ to a sort of meta-category and add ‘cultural’, ’social’ or (worst of all) ‘philosophical’ alongside ‘random’.

I mention this partly in a spirit of friendly warning (anyone easily upset by amateur attempts at serious cultural theorizing should leave now), and partly as a way of sidling up to the matter at hand. Which is, now that I come to try,curiously difficult to pin down.

There is, however, a rat-like corner of my mind that, refusing to accept what it’s been told (or anything remotely redolent of received opinion) stubbornly gnaws away on things.  The only thing more likely to banish any prospect of a peaceful night than the sound of someone chewing in your ear, I find, is someone chewing in your head.

Here’s a few mouthfulls, hopefully enough to give  some sense of the flavour of it…

joan-miro-hand-catching-a-bird.jpgCouple of week-ends ago, in search of inspiring entertainment, went to London with some friends to visit an exhibition or two, then take in a movie to round things off. The original (wildly over-ambitious) plan involving both Frieze and Zoo Art Fairs, another show about mythical creatures and “I’ve loved you so long” as the cinematic dessert. What actually happened was, in retrospect, both sadder and more interesting.

Arriving at the Royal Academy, in search of the Zoo Art Fair (billed as a younger, less commercial, Freize) we couldn’t help but notice the banners advertising their main show - ‘Miro, Calder, Giacometti, Braque : Aime Maeght and his artists’

I’d been a little dubious about Zoo anyway (I’ve long distrusted ‘cutting-edge’ as a description of anything other than kitchen equipment). One glimpse of the Zoo staff, clad in combat gear (a drably callow imposture that somehow managed to be both offensive and depressing), and the temptation to sample known delights became overwhelming. We split up and I (along with a fellow rebel) enjoyed a blissful afternoon in the company of some of the true greats of 20thC Art.

Meeting up later, one of the Zoo party memorably summed up the show as consisting mainly of ‘a lot of public masturbation’, gracefully conceding that we had probably made the better choice. I hope I didn’t look too smug - I certainly didn’t feel it. I wish I had enough faith to plunge cheerfully into the ocean of arty, self-indulgent rubbish which sloshes around us in search of the precious islands of sanity and truth that (one hopes) remain to be discovered.

the_fall_8.jpgWe ending up seeing a different film, as well (It was just that kind of a day).  The Fall, by Tarsem.  Once again, I found myself at odds with the general opinion of the party. It’s not that it’s a bad film, as such. It’s one of the most visually beautiful films I’ve ever seen, in fact.  Well acted. But deeply, deeply unsatisfying for all that, because that’s all it is - a lot of exceptionally pretty pictures.  I can tolerate a certain lack of substance in a blockbuster, in return for a beautiful piece of packaging. One admires the sheer craft - I love a good superhero movie as much as the next guy - and accepts it as the artfully packaged junk-food that it is. Ultimately I found The Fall despressing, because it promises much more - this is clearly a work of considerable ambition, 8 years in the making - and delivers far less. Stunning cinematography (and it is breath-taking) simply isn’t enough to compensate for a complete lack of understanding of how stories work, the complexities of the relationship between the actual and the imaginary.

burn-after-reading-poster.jpgMore recently, I went (alone, this time) to see the Coen Brothers’ latest, Burn after reading. I enjoyed it a lot, it made me laugh out loud repeatedly.  Like most of their films, it’s very well written, shot and edited, well played. Even by Brad Pitt, which I’ll admit was a pleasant surprise. You’ll get more from it if you are enough of a film buff to recognise the tropes they’re so skillfully re-cycling. There is a way of doing this that flatters an audience into feeling good about themselves, and these guys are very good at it. (Unlike Tarantino, who can’t resist showing off)

This is not, however, a ‘feel-good’ movie. It’s not really a ‘feel’ anything movie. All the characters are (to a greater or lesser extent) unsympathetic. All of the relationships between the characters are deeply flawed. The plot is resolved, but only on the proximate ’shit happens’ level. We are offered no ultimate insight. A good deal of enjoyment, but, again, no real satisfaction.

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The same week I went to the Barbican to see Isis is you sis/Hecate Tango by storyteller Xanthe Gresham . For me, this really worked, and I was more than satisfied. I was enthralled, enthused, moved and inspired. Xanthe somehow manages to intertwine ancient mythological material with fragments of her own chaotic life. Impressively, she does this in a way that makes a strange kind of sense. Even more impressively, somehow each strand reflects and illuminates the other.

I could be accused of bias here - I’m a storyteller, and thus may be supposed to be pre-disposed to like anything that treats well of traditional narratives. Besides, Xanthe’s a dear friend. Even discounting all those partialities (as far as I can) though, there’s still something in all of this that nags at me.

The question is not so much why Xanthe’s show worked, (there’s no mystery about enjoying Miro et al) but why the others left me feeling (to a greater or lesser extent) short-changed?

My inner mental rat has another annoying habit. He is prone to stashing things away in corners - fragments of conversation, snatched images, a sound or a smell - for no apparent reason, only to drag them out later and see what strange patterns can be made with them.

Thinking about all of the above, looking for something to explain the slightly stale taste in my mouth, I keep replaying a fragment of conversation from months ago…

Can’t remember how it came up, but halfway through an Indian meal the talk turned to emotional honesty - my companion being of the opinion that it’s always preferrable to be up-front about things. She couldn’t stand people who keep it ‘all locked away’.  Responses varied. The other bloke strongly agreed. I don’t remember that his companion expressed a strong view either way. Wise of her. Distracted by a potent mixture of alcohol, lust and not very good indian food, I seem to remember muttering a weak assent.

Which was wrong of me. What I should have said was “Yes and no…but probably mainly no, especially not if it involves the phrase ’self-esteem’ at any point.”

If it seems like I’m prevaricating, it’s only because I genuinely believe the answer is not straight-forward (which makes it an interesting question).  You can argue it many ways.

For example, there seems to be no actual evidence to support the oft-repeated contention that if you have a good level of self-esteem you will, in general, have a better, or even a happier life. On the contrary, the studies that I’ve come across seem to indicate that it makes very little difference, all other things being equal.

On the other hand, it’s hard to argue with the idea that we could all use a little more ‘emotional intelligence’ (good notion - hideous phrase). But not, I venture to suggest, at the expense of the other kind.

Anti-evolutionists have been known to argue that ‘divine design’ should not only be taught in schools, but should be accorded equal status with Darwin’s great idea. A contention based mainly on the sheer power of their belief in what seems to them to be revealed truth.  The rationalist in me finds this absurd. Even more worrying is Richard Dawkin’s recent very public anti-religion diatribe.

And so on…I ran out of hands allready. And heart, sometimes. Tolerance, too, sometimes…to my shame. Patience often.

And that’s it. That feeling, that stale taste in the mouth…it’s getting harder and harder to shrug it off. Not to mind that the tide of mumbo-jumbo laps daily higher and higher, that no-one seems to want to think anymore.

Ok, it’s late, and I’m more than a little dispirited at the direction this seems to be taking, but I can’t help feeling that we’re only now really beginning to properly see the long-term effects of a strand of psychological/cultural/social theory that started in the late 19thC with Freud, wound its miserable way through the existentialists, Sartre and on through Derrida and Barthes.

All thinkers who have been concerned with trying to identify and dismantle (because, so often, the gap between ‘explaining’ and ‘explaining away’ is no more than a breath, a momentary lapse of moral attention) the various rickety, improbable, glorious, disturbing and down-right bizarre straw castles of fiction and imposture that we can’t seem to help ourselves building. That we all of us inhabit, all the time, whether we will or no.

Thieving bastards, all of them - in their various ways they all took something away from our collective sense of rightness in ourselves. Dismantled something, showed us the bits and left nothing to replace that which has been lost. Once you’ve seen how the trick is done the magic begins to loose its lustre.

Except, for most of us, we never really got/get a good look at what we’re (supposedly) being shown, and the explanation is in the wrong language, or too short, or simply missing altogether. No-one wants to feel left out, though, so we grab at whatever 2nd, third, tenth, millionth-hand fragments we can get…without, often, even being aware of what it is we’re trying to grasp, what baggages we have unwittingly encumbered ourselves with.

So they’re hard to spot when they re-surface again. In films, in performance, in art….or even in late-night conversations in mediocre restaurants. All those partially digested, half-grasped ideas…

We’d like to trust our feelings, but are secretly somewhat afraid/ashamed of them, we don’t quite know how to re-concile them with our intellect, and have a stubborn suspicion that we might still be made a fool of…we distrust artfice as soon as we identify it as such…

Maybe it’s just the English. Maybe it’s just me. I doubt it, though.

It’s this difficulty with artifice (for want of a better word) that sums it up for me. The appreciation of conventions, constructions, allegories and impostures, the wonderful sleight-of-imagination which makes it not only perfectly possible, but deeply natural and enjoyable to construct a tissue of lies which drapes over a shape very like the truth.

It’s difficult, it takes skill, practice, respect for yourself and (much more importantly) respect for your audience.

The last sentance alone should go a long way towards explaining why a distressing large proportion of what passes for fine art these days is such poisonous, self-indulgent rubbish.

One of the significant things that Miro, Braque and Calder share is a deep playfullness which takes great delight in fictions and impostures of all kinds.  Giacommetti was influenced by Sartre, but somehow managed to retain his essential humanity.

The Coen Brothers are very good at artifice - they delight in playing about with forms, re-cycling old tropes. That delight is one of the most enjoyable things in their work, but it often gets in the way of the other half of the equation. The emotional depth that makes the artifice both truly meaningfull and fully satisfying.

Tarsem is so mesmerised by the glittery surfaces of his imaginings that he doesn’t seem to be aware of their emptiness.

Xanthe’s work, despite it’s high autobiographical content, is a thing of intricate and beautiful artifice. Honed over a long period of time, and performed with such skill that it looks completely fresh. Utterly individual, yet very accessible. The most truthfull, satisfying and complete thing I’ve seen for a very long time.

And you know what…one of the pivotal autobiographical moments of the piece never happened (Wild horses wouldn’t drag any more out of me). I wish I didn’t know, because it’s a distraction, an irrelevancy. It doesn’t matter.

What matters is the pattern, and the intention with which it is made.

The generosity of spirit which weaves this oh so necessary, so beautiful artifice and invites us to share it.

Basket of light

Posted on October 28th, 2008

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Found a special place a couple of weekends ago, although it took me a while to realise it.

I wandered around a bit, taking in the sun-drenched loveliness of every prospect, and a few photos. Then I sat on the stout wooden bench outside the village hall, enjoying the view (pictured above). Conscious, once the initial  impact of the beauty around me had worn off a bit, of all the nagging inner voices buzzing around in my head, and the odd little physical twinges and tics I seem to have become prey to. Like an old house  settling into a comfortable evening, after a hot day. Not exactly at peace, initially, despite the tranquility of the place.

I did eventually achieve something like internal quiet - after some minutes of effort spent in the psychological equivalent of emptying all the rubbish out of my pockets.

At which point the special nature of the place finally became apparent. There was no background traffic hum. No distant, tedious thrum of tyres on tarmac. An absence definitely to be savoured on this small and increasingly crowded island.

Having become aware of this rare lack, it would be pleasant to relate that I was able to savour it, able to sink meditatively into mystic communion with Northamptonshire.  Sadly, I suspect that the words ‘nirvana’ and ‘northamptonshire’ are rarely to be found in the same sentence, and the bench proved not to be as comfortable as it had first seemed.

over-the-wall.jpgSo I wandered around a bit more, feeling a little like an un-necessary peasant, in imminent danger of being chased out of the view because Mr Gainsborough thinks I will spoil his painting.

I find it hard to explain - even to myself - the depth of the spell a place like this casts on me, the power of the pull it exerts. A frankly sensual delight in landscape that can make me exclaim aloud at an un-expected turn of the road, dip and curve of a ploughed field, running down towards a valley bottom.

I hope I know enough social and art history to be resistant to such famously English romantic notions about the countryside, but perhaps not. I can’t deny I find something uniquely appealing in such landscapes. Places that have become as they are because of very long periods of human interaction. I can admire wilderness as well, but mere geology is too slow. I can understand its patient processes intellectually, but it has less emotional grip.

bijou-brooder.jpgThere’s something about the old patterns we make across the face of the land that make sense at some deeper level. A big part of what ‘home’ means for me is laid out around me in the landscape - a native tongue that speaks quietly, but with great force.

Perhaps fortunately, at this point my reverie on the topology of belonging is completely de-railed by spotting the most middle-class, kitch hen-house I’ve ever seen. Giggling quietly, and guiltily hoping no-one spots me, I snatch a quick pic, then scurry on down the lane.

And find myself back in the small and very pleasant graveyard - the passing sight of which made me stop the car and get out for further exploration in the first place. Absurdly, I realise I’m jealous of the inhabitants thereof. At the present moment I can think of no better place to come to rest in.

A flash of dappled light, strained through the leaves of an old lime (at least, I think it was a lime), which becomes a basket of light, a means of capturing and concentrating the sun’s rays then releasing them again, refracted through a complex, glowing enclosure.  A natural lantern soaking up the sun and using it to pump gallons of sap through countless channels, a silent thundering flow.

Perhaps nirvana is not to be found anywhere so English as a quiet Northants. village, but there’s a deep contentment to be savoured on a sunny Sunday afternoon, as a basket of light throws lengthening shadows across the grass.

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The other red shoe

Posted on October 15th, 2008

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Perhaps it says something about me, and the people I know, but I’ve been hearing the same thing a lot recently. People talking about ‘a weird energy’ or ’strange vibe’. Trying to put something into words, a feeling of dislocation, something not quite right.

Strangely, it doesn’t seem to be directly related to the financial calamities raining down around our bemused heads - unless the scale of the disaster is such that we can’t quite grasp it, and are all taking refuge in a somehow softer sense of generalised un-ease. Pulling a blanket of vaguely new-age concepts over our heads, hiding until the nasty pointed sums go away….

Sound plausible?

Maybe, but that unease still stubbornly refuses to be argued away. The sense that, as an American would say, ‘the other shoe’s going to drop’ sooner or later…

It’s been sneaking up on me in the oddest of ways.

I was up in town a while back (couple of weeks ago, at most) it was a reasonably sunny day…I was struck by the vivid colours around, took these photos. Then realised what I was looking at.

There’s a problem with Horse Chestnut trees.

They’re dying, and it’s spreading. There doesn’t seem to be much we can do about it in the short term.

The leaves shouldn’t have been this brown, this early.

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Now if you’d have asked me when Horse Chestnuts generally start to turn I have to admit that I’d be struggling to come up with anything other than a vague answer. I’d have sworn I didn’t really know. Even reading up about it, I still don’t know.

But…but…

Something snagged my attention, some nagging sense of unease, of wrongness.

It took a while to penetrate, I was distracted by beauty.

Which leaves me with very mixed feelings. On the one hand, I’m somewhat comforted that I’m not so completely disconnected from the world around me that I’ve lost the ability to notice when something’s wrong.

On the other hand, I’m still waiting (along with the everyone else, I suspect) for the other (red) shoe to fall…

A shortage of conkers is going to be the least of it.

Blinking in the sun

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

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car-park-strip.jpgIt’s been so dismal these past couple of days - grey, brooding, blustery weather that seems to add to the sense of impending  doom (financial and otherwise) currently being assiduously fostered by the media - that the golden glory of the weekend seems like a distant memory.  (Apologies if it rained where you are) Or at least, it would be had I not spent a significant chunk of Saturday afternoon wandering around town taking photos.

Such is the magic conferred by a bit of decent light, even Waitrose car-park seemed brushed with a strange glamour. To my eyes, at least…perhaps it was just me, as far as that particular sight was concerned.

Wondering, gently bedazzled, around town for a while just looking, I was aware of something I’ve noticed before on a really sunny day - everything seems hushed, sounds are somehow slightly muffled.

I can’t believe I’m the only one subject to this oddness.

back-street.jpgIt’s not a very dramatic thing, perhaps one of a whole range of subtle perceptual shifts that can happen almost slyly, without our necessarily noticing it. Thinking about it, I suspect the only reason I noticed this time was because I wasn’t carrying out a specific task - get this shopping, go to that place, take that library book back etc.  It make me wonder about how much of the total spectrum of our ‘raw’ perceptual input is filtered out as a regular thing. How big are the blinkers we normally wear?

I don’t have any great insights in these questions right now, but one interesting thought did manage to battle it’s way into my mind, past all the sensual stuff.

Does it all go quiet because I’m so busy looking that I haven’t got time to listen at the same time?

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Swimming in the sky

Posted on July 30th, 2008

velux.jpgThe only window in my flat that offers a clear and un-obstructed view of the sky is the velux in the roof above my bed, and that only when closed. When it’s open not only does the frame of the window itself obtrude, but at most angles you also get a reflection of the house in the street opposite.

From all the other windows there’s something else in the field of view - houses, trees, street furniture.

In the winter I don’t mind this, it’s comforting to be constantly reminded of the other lives being lived around me.bathroom-window.jpg

In the summer, especially when the weather is as balmy as it has been lately, it’s not so good.

Due to temporary lack of car (tedious and expensive), I’ve been working at home these past few days. I’ve done my best, trying to take regular breaks, gone out for little walks about the place, but it’s no good.

behind-wardrobe.jpgMore and more, I find my gaze drawn to the window, drawn to that mesmerising strip of blue. Just the faintest wisps of cloud at the moment, lazy white scribbles on a field of milky blue. And a roof, and chimney, and (my fault, this) two purple shirts hanging up to dry.

It feels like I have to squeeze myself past all these obstructions before I can get to it. Like pushing through the jungle to get to the beach. Not necessarily un-pleasant in it’s own way, but not what I want to be bothered with right now.

Right now, I want to go swimming in the sky…

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